Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Struggling

Well its been two and  half years and I am struggling.  I had my gall bladder out in January 2017 and almost immediately put on 20 pounds.  Now my struggle is to lose that 20 pounds and more.  I am very down on myself and fell like a failure.  I said as much to my surgeon.  He told me  "I am not a failure.  I am still down 40 pounds and losing weight is very hard."   I appreciated that.  I have also begun seeing a counselor who has had weight loss surgery and she is helping me to see my own self worth and get through what is holding me back from doing what I need to do to lose weight.  In the mean time, my surgeon and counselor have both agreed that I need help with the craving so I recently started Contrave.  It has helped tremendously with curbing my cravings.  I am eating much less.  The scale has barely budged but my clothes fit better.  Its on me now to change the way I am eating and to start exercising when I have an opportunity.  With it being spring the exercising should be much easier.  Well, easier to do when I am not working 12 hour days.  So there are my new goals:  Love me, Eat the things I am supposed to, and exercise more.  Baby steps.