Surgery Was A Success

I don't remember much pre-surgery.  I lost 8 pounds in the two weeks leading up to surgery on the protein shake diet that was prescribed.  At the hospital I had to wash with special wipes to help avoid

infection and then wait.  As I was getting wheeled to the OR I heard the nurse say "OK, I gave you something to relax you".  That's the last thing I remember.   

I woke up in recovery and shortly there after I was wheeled to my room.  I was in a lot of pain,  I found out before surgery that I had a hiatal hernia.  So it was no surprise to me that it was fixed.  The surprise was that, in the doctor's words, "It was a very large hernia".  It as also been the source of my pain since surgery.  If I do not take the pain pills then it is very hard to breathe.  

I came home Christmas Eve.  I sleep a lot more than I am used to.  I also started the pureed phase of the diet.  It hurts.  It does not hurt my stomach, it hurts my hernia repair.  I can feel every swallow as it goes through my esophagus. passed the diaphragm, and in to my stomach. I eat slowly.  Each day is getting a little better.  

Side Note:  The nurse who removed my staples before leaving the hospital was using the tool wrong and made some incisions worse.   When they go to remove your staples, make sure that the side with the two prongs is on the bottom and the one prong is on top.  Trust me, it is important.  Thanks to this nurse I now have to check my incisions and put antibiotic cream on them because she has two of them very inflamed.  Also, when the nurses take your morphine away DO NOT be afraid to ask for pain meds.  I don't care how cranky the nurse seems, you needs to pain control.

This Pre-Op diet is tough

Wow!  I'm not going to lie.  The first two days of this pre-op diet were killer.  I had a severe "dull" headache and brain fog for two days.  There was nothing that I could do about it either.  I had panic attacks and I wanted carbs very very badly.  I felt like this was the worst thing I could have ever done to myself, especially with Christmas right around the corner.  Thankfully I had a great support group of friends who have helped talk me through this.  Have I cheated.  Yes.  I have been adding PB2 powder to my disgusting chocolate protein drinks.  It really does help make them tolerable.  Yes, it adds 45 calories but no sugar so I am able to maintain the ketone burning levels the doctor wants.  I check this by using ketone test strips I got at the pharmacy.  It's a great tool to help me know I am still doing what I am supposed to.  And again, thankfully after two days my headache went away.  I am more alert now and I hopefully will stop screwing up at work.  On Thursday I delivered a package to the wrong house and then when I went back the people were not home.  Unfortunately the people who ordered it needed it that night for a program at school.  I felt terrible.  I even went back a second time.  No luck.  So lets see where I am in the countdown... I will get my surgery in 9 days.  I go back and forth with the fact that I am scared and excited then angry and nervous.  I know this is the right thing to do.  I feel like God has led me in this direction and I don't want to let this opportunity to better myself slip away.

Pre-Op Diet

Okay, here we go!!!!  I went to my 4 hour nutrition and pro-op class yesterday.  Let me just say.....I am afraid.  The diet consists on 2 protein shakes per day, 64 ounces of water, sugar-fee jello and sugar-free popsicles, AND one meal consisting of 4 oz of meat and a non-starchy vegetable.  I am supposed to start this morning but..... I am afraid.  I have the first shake all mixed up and ready to drink (did I mention you can only mix it with water!!!!).  I hope it tastes good.  Like I said, I am afraid.  Surgery is on December 22 and I will go home on Christmas.  I will keep this updated as I get closer and closer to surgery.  I am getting nervous.  I hope I am doing the right thing.

A long long wait

It's been a long wait since I was approved.  I am still hanging in there.  I have two appointments next week.  One is to sign my surgical consent, the other is a nutrition class to get me ready for surgery.  I have approx. 2 pounds to lose to get back to the last weigh-in weight.  I plan on having lots of soup to help with that.  I am also getting scared and excited.  

Actually, I could have already had my surgery already but I chose to wait.  I am a letter carrier and December is all about the overtime.  I did not want to miss out on that money.  So I wait and yes, I do get inside my own head quite a bit.  I feel like this is a God driven journey.  Everything has happened just the way it was supposed to so that is what I tell myself when I get into a funk.  

I know it will be worth it!  I am a healthy person other than this weight (and asthma) so this just makes sense.  I know I can't do it by myself so I am trusting God in this journey.

More to come after appointments next week!

I'm Approved!!!!!

Oh My Goodness!!!!! And Thank you GOD!!!!!!   I got my approval letter from the insurance company on Monday when I got home from work.  I cannot tell you how excited I am!!!!!

Deep Breath

I emailed the ladies at BMI Surgery and told them the good news.  So what is the next step?  Well, I scheduled my surgery and pre-surgery classes.  Since I am a US Postal Letter Carrier this was a tricky one. I could have had the surgery November 24 but I don't want to miss all the overtime in December or the tips.  So I took the last possible date I could for this year, December 22!!!

I can't tell you what a relief this is for me.  I now have a thinner future to look forward to and a healthier one to boot.   I can only imagine the things ahead for me but I can't wait to enjoy them all!!!

To anyone reading this, don't give up on your journey either.  With lots of prayer and hard work you can do any thing!

The waiting begins....

So on Oct 8, 2015 I went in for my final weigh-in of my 3 month doctor monitored weight loss.  I was down 2 pounds.  What a relief.  Now everything goes to my insurance company and they have 30 business days (6 weeks) to approve/deny my surgery.  It has been a prayerful journey and I feel as though it is God driven.  Everything has gone so smoothly.  Not to say there have not been any hiccups, but all is well with my soul on this journey.

This picture of my was taken at Starved Rock on Oct 12, 2015.  As I look at it I do not see me.  I see my head on someone else's body.  I do not picture myself this big.  But here I am.  The hard part is that my friends say that I look "great".  All I see is fat.  My goal is to return next year and hope I can find this tree or a similar one so I can retake this picture.  I am really excited to see the results.

Talk to you again around November 2.  That is my next Dr. appointment.

A Very Rough Month

Well, this month stinks.  It's been very slow going as far as my weight-loss for my "Dr monitored" program which isn't really a program.  I have stayed the same until this morning where I showed a 8/10 of a pound weight loss.  Whoop Dee Do.  I also noticed something.  The doctor's office is fabulous as a support system after you have surgery, but before you have surgery and during this weight-loss crap they are pretty much non-existent.  That is frustrating.  

I also ran into issues with my Psych consult.  I had my appointment on Sept 2 and as of Friday Sept 25 they still hadn't transmitted my report to the doctor's office.  WTF!  I left a message with the psych office and I am going to check again with BMI doctor today to see if it was received.  Everything seems to be continuing to lead me to this path except for the stinkin' Psychologist. 

I go for my final weigh-in for this 3 month thing on Oct 8. 2015.  I need to be down at least 2 pounds.  Wish me luck!!!!

Second of Three Dr Monitored Weightloss

Today was my second weigh-in for the doctor monitored weight loss plan that my insurance company requires.  I am excited.  I lost 5 pounds!  Yes, the process of getting there sucked but I did it.  I am still off of Pepsi and I am still doing one meal a day as an Atkins shake.  I have found that switching Chocolate and Vanilla is nice for a change but I prefer the Chocolate.   I have all of my "other" doctor appointments completed.  There was a glitch I found today.  My primary doctor did not send over my weight records for the past two years (a requirement for my insurance company).  So the ladies in the WLD office resent the request and I stopped there on the way home.  My PCP claimed that they never got the initial request.  Whatever.  So I waited while she got all of the papers together.  Otherwise, things have been running very smoothly during this entire process.  That actually scares me a bit.  Things in my life don't ever go the way they are supposed to.  I am sure I will run into a road block somewhere but until then I will just keep at it.  I hope you do too!!!!

Psych Approval 9/2/15

Today was my dreaded psych approval appointment (take 2).  Nervous once again mostly due to unknown factors.  I am a master at creating something out of nothing.  But let me tell you, it was a piece of cake!!!  I had all of my paperwork filled out ahead of time.  So I walked in and they sat me at a computer.  I answered 338 VERY random questions, and I do mean random.  My favorite was "If given a chance you would like to be a forest ranger--True or False".  Then I sat with a woman for about 10 minutes going over paperwork and she asked questions to see if I understood the surgery and what to expect.  No problems here either.  Now I just have 2 more check-ins for my medically supervised diet, one being next week and one in early October.  Hopefully I will have surgery before the end of the year since my deductibles are all met.  I don't care if it happens between Christmas and New Years just so that it is in 2015.

Still off of Pepsi, although I did have a 20 oz bottle the other night.  No desire to have any more.  Doesn't taste the same anymore.  Really wasn't enjoyable.  I am also having an Atkins shake for lunch at work.  I figure if I start with one meal a day now, when I have to get ready for surgery it will be much easier.  (I hope).  I also find myself getting scared and nervous about surgery sometimes.  But my inner self knows it will all be worth it.  That 100 pounds will melt off like butter.  I am so looking forward to my skinny future!

3 cookies = 3 pounds Ugh!!!

So let me start by saying I suffer from PMDD (Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder).  Unknowing to me, yesterday I was 4 days away from day 1 of my cycle.  I could feel something was up though, since I was having a minor irrational panic attack.  So I took a Xanax and I called two different friends.  I felt better.  UNTIL I went to the store.  I walked to the store for eggs.  I came back with Ginger Ale, Cookie Dough, Eggs, and some Roast Beef.  I know, I know, I have been doing so well.  I was down 3.6 pounds and I was very proud of myself.  Then I got on the scale this morning.  I literally gained 3 pounds overnight!!!!  I'm pissed!!!!  I know this is a "normal" part of the female cycle but WTF!!!!  Thankfully I do not go weigh in until September 10.  I should be back down by then.  It's just like UGH, you know.  I took an over the counter water pill because in my mind, it will make me feel better.  It's just a "THIS ISN"T FAIR" moment.  Anyway, thanks for reading my rant.

Does Coke count as Pepsi?

Well, this week has been very trying at work.  A lot of stress and overtime.  But I made it to today and now I am on vacation for the week.  Ahhhhh.  I went to my nephews football game this afternoon and since I was right by Portillo's I decided to get a chopped salad for lunch....with a coke.  Oops!  I forgot myself and just ordered.  To be honest with you, it really wasn't satisfying either.  I could have gone without.  But I think that too is a victory.  I can survive without the pop AND if I have a little bit because I forgot myself I can keep going and not come undone.  Yea me!

Good news too!  I am down 3 pounds from my initial weigh-in for the 3 month medically supervised weight loss.   Can I be honest again here.  The medical weight loss is a joke.  They have really done nothing to help me except to tell me that if I do not lose 2 pounds per month then my insurance can disqualify me from surgery.  SO I am still doing my Atkins shakes.  Usually Vanilla but I have found a new love in the chocolate as well.  Since I am on vacation, I will keep up the walking every day and I know my dogs will love that too.  Have a great week!!!!!!

Two Doctor's Cleared- One to Go!

Yesterday I had my pulmonary testing done.  It was a breeze.  I had to breathe a lot into a machine in many different ways to measure many different things.  It was not a problem for me since I have Asthma and have already done a few of these tests.  Good news!  I am cleared by the pulmonologist for surgery!  Now I just have to get the Psych done and lose some weight.

As for the Pepsi update; I am two weeks Pepsi free!!!  Yes, I miss it terribly.  But I know that this will be the best thing I do in getting ready for surgery.   I have also decided to replace my daily lunch with an Atkins shake.  I know the liquid phase is a month or two out but I want to get used to this in steps.  So far I am doing okay, but I find I get headaches mid-day because I think my sugar gets low at work.   I am bringing fruit for snacks to help with that but I do occasionally give in and buy a Hershey bar at the gas station when I stop to use the restroom.  I'm a work in progress.

5 Days No Pepsi

Sunday August 9, 2015

It's been 5 days now without my beloved Pepsi.  I am still getting headaches but they are not as intense.  I am no longer having the huge cravings for my Pepsi, it's more of a mental desire now. I have noticed that I am not as hungry without my sweet drink.  So it does give me hope.  I know I have a tough road ahead of me with the sleeve surgery so if I can beat this battle I know I can make it through the rest of them.

Wednesday I go with Cristal, my 21 year old, to the seminar so that she too can begin this process.  Since her insurance is different from mine she will have a 6 month medical diet.  It works out well though.  She will graduate college next May so we can plan for her surgery around that time.

  I have also come up with several new questions to ask the Doctor.  My biggest worry now is Gallstones.  I have read on some posts that some doctors give anti-gallstone meds after surgery.  I have also read that some people have to go back for surgery to remove their gall bladder.  Right now I am thinking "If you're already in there just take that out too!".  I will wait and see what Doctor Joyce has to say.

Next week is my pulmonary appointment and then September 2 is my second attempt at Psych clearance.  Let's hope this new doctor shows up for my appointment.

Pepsi Withdrawl

So I decided to start yesterday with giving up Pepsi.  I went all day without any, with the exception of one mouthful at the flea market in Shipshewana.  The headache started around 8 pm.  It just intensified from there.   I had one of the worst headaches of my life throughout the entire night.  I also had the shakes and I was freezing cold.  Woke up around 5:45 this morning still with the headache.  Ibuprofen seemed to help after I took some.  It's now 10 am and I seem to be doing a lot better.  Going to keep my fingers crossed that I can keep going.  I know I need to do this for my health and my family.  If my girls can see me do this then I hope it will give them the strength they need to accomplish their own battles.

August 4th

Today was my first official "month" of my 3 month doctor directed weight-loss plan.  Seriously?  We sat in a room for 2 hours and learned not to much.  First speaker was the Doctor's Nurse.  She actually spoke about insurance requirements and dedication and that realistically I only need to lose two pounds per month over the next 3 months to "qualify".  Well that's do-able.

Then the dietitian came in.  He was not that helpful.  He read straight from a handout and ended every sentence with "Okay".  Basically what I got from him was to give up Soda and sweets now because it will be murder if I wait until surgery.

The highlight of this whole experience was actually from a lady who came in to the office to buy vitamins.  I asked her about the taste and the nurse gave me a sample.  Taste like Flintstones.  I can do those!  Then she rode the elevator down with me and she had the sleeve done in February.  It's August 4th and she is down 95 pounds!!!  We talked a little bit more and she said she never regretted the surgery.  Yes, it can be hard at times but it is worth it.  I really needed to hear that!  I have been praying about whether this is the right decision for me and I feel like God sent this woman to me to confirm what I felt.  I am so happy I met her!!!!

Friday is my Psych evaluation.  I'll post more after that.  For now, it's time to give up the Pepsi.  I am not looking forward to that journey.

Monday August 3rd

Cardiac Approval

I went to the cardiologist last week for an EKG to see if I would be approved for surgery.  I was told there was a slight abnormality and that I needed an Echo but "it's nothing to worry about".  Really!!!!  That's me heart!  Good news though.  My Echo came back normal so I am approved for surgery as far as the cardiologist is concerned.  Hurdle 1 complete!!

Let's call this a stumble

I decided to share this blog with a few friends that I know are struggling with their own weight issues.  Out of the people to respond, one friend was not excited.  She asked me to reconsider because it is not an easy road after surgery.  I really appreciate that.  I also understand that it is not going to be easy and that has been my biggest mental struggle aside from "do i qualify".  I think this is why most insurance companies require a medically supervised diet plan 3-12 months before they approve their payment.  BCBS FED requires 3 months.  So I have 3 months to diet and decide.  I think that will help make my decision one way or the other.  For now, I am going to go ahead with the mindset that I am doing this.

On another note, I just received my assortment of UNJURY protein powder single serve packets.  I ordered one packet in each flavor.  I decided to try them all since life after surgery for at least 3 weeks is all liquid and protein shakes.  I'll keep you posted on the trials.

Have a great day!

Finally, It's July 22 !!!!

After the terrible mental journey of the past 7 weeks, I finally get to see Dr. Joyce!!!

Am I fat enough?
Is my BMI high enough?
Do I have enough Co-morbidities to qualify?

Here we go!

The nurse takes me back and it begins.  I get a height measurement.  5'10 1/4".
Then I get put on this super fancy scale.  278.4 pounds.  Uh Oh.
But wait.....BMI is 40.  Woo Hoo!  First hurdle is met.
I am now starting to see that this might just be possible.

Dr. Joyce comes in.  He's a very gentle spoken man.  He looks over my stats and asks me the general questions like "How long have you been battling your weight" and "What ways have you tried to lose weight".  I ask a few questions based on what I had researched and pinned on Pintrest.  I also inform him that I have a Hiatal Hernia.  He says "Well, we can fix that when we do your sleeve."

Wait, what?  Did he say "When"?

 So, I ask him "So I qualify?"  He smiles and says "Yes".  Let the wash of relief pour over me!!!!!!

My new journey begins!  I was told that my insurance requires a 3 month medically supervised weight loss program before I can have surgery and that Dr. Joyce's office will handle that.  He said "Don't worry, these next 3 months will just fly by."  I'm not sure about "flying by" but now I finally have something to look forward to.  Let's do this thing! I have two weeks until my first meeting for the weight-loss plan.  No more worrying.

 

The Beginning -June 3 2015

I had had it.  I was at my wit's end.  After 6 months of walking a mail route I had lost 30 pounds.  Now I am back on an all driving mail route (I'm a letter carrier for USPS) and the weight magically reappeared.  So I started searching online for a larger pair of uniform shorts.  Guess what.  I already wear the largest size that is made for women!  If I gain any more weight I will have to custom order my uniform pants/shorts at $150 a piece.  I was done!!!  I remembered speaking with two of my friends about getting lap-bands, one of which had her's done at Silver Cross hospital.  So I made an appointment to attend their informational seminar.  The seminar was on June 3, 2015.  I left this hour long presentation so excited about this new journey I wanted to undertake.  I also decided that it wasn't the lap-band I wanted but a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. 

Now I wait.....

The doctor's office only does new patient meetings on Wednesday and Friday.  Since my next Friday off work was July 3rd, this day was not an option.  So I had to wait all the way to July 22 for this appointment!

Let the mental struggles begin....

During the next 7 loooong weeks my mind decided it was time to play games with me.  That silly little mind decided to bring up all my Weight Watcher failures.  Then she reminded me about the "weight-loss" doctor I saw who for a period of six weeks who just handed me a bottle of Phentermine and sent me on my way.  Another failure.  Oh yes, the doctor that told me I was not FAT enough to have metabolic syndrome but treated me anyway.  I mean really, not fat enough???  I'm 5'10'' and weigh 280 pounds.  How am I not fat enough???!!!!  Fortunately I have a great support system in place.  I have Betty, who has been through gastric bypass.  She has been a great sounding board during my bad days.  You can't beat knowing a person who has been there.  I also have two other friends and my sister who are probably very tired of me talking about how I won't qualify and how nervous I was and how I don't have enough co-morbidities, etc, etc.  I am really thankful for them.  Without my friends I would have driven myself absolutely crazy, well more so than I already am-LOL.  

So I continue to wait.....

P.S.  Pintrest has been a great resource of information during this waiting time.  I have learned a great deal, seen many videos, and come up with a few questions for the doctor.